Thanks to everyone at Sussex County Cricket Club, for blasting 95mph cricket balls at Jonesy... ...and he's this month's loser too! two forfeits in a row, unlucky Jonesy...

Good morning one and all - lots to talk about today!

Firstly, if you're anything like me, and you haven't done your tax return, you might want to get your arse in gear... before Aliens land - don't want that chore hanging over you!

This is all fuelled by children's pictures depicting strange looking skinny men with huge bulging eyes. Wait...

False alarm - its Peter Crouch!

Tina's gone in Big Brother, but far more interesting is Verne getting tiddly on Champagne - turns out he has a rather unlikely admirer in the form of Wayne Rooney, who has photos of Verne on his locker room wall...

There's a knock to your self-esteem Coleen!

And finally, everyone at Juice is excited at the possiblity of the first ever gay superhero - by the same creater as Batman and Spiderman! For ease of conversation we named him "Graham Norton Man", and were asking for your suggestions for the all important superhero theme tune.

Best suggestions included Diana Ross - I'm coming out, Holding out for a Hero, and Michael Jackson - Keep it in the closet.

But the winner was undoubtedly Macho Man by the Village People - which we played a whole 2 minutes of - oh yes!

Back same time next week for more fun!

The amazing Lady Gaga live... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiOLovnTapc

Jonesy calls Brighton's favourite fancy dress shops, Revamp & Masquerade, to try find that perfect christmas party outfit...
http://assets.juicebrighton.com/fancydressmontage.mp3

Trying to fulfill a lifelong dream, Jonesy calls up the Brighton Festival Chorus to audition over the phone, with a little bit of help from Paul Potts & someone called Cliff...
http://assets.juicebrighton.com/chorusaudition.mp3

Another dream comes true as Jonesy uses a special service where Santa calls YOU, already knowing your name, age, hobbies and most wanted present! However, its meant for kids, so Jonesy poses as a 12 year old boy called Mike...
http://assets.juicebrighton.com/santacall.mp3

Tis the morn before (a few days before) Christmas, and all round the studio, not a single present purchased, not even a stereo... See what I did there? (Wasted on radio I tell you)

I enlisted you, our faithful listeners for cheap, original and fun christmas prezzie ideas on the morning of the busiest shopping weekend of the year, and you came up with some good 'uns including adopting a penguin, a sound asleep pillow that plays music to send you to sleep, and - my personal favourite - the 'Zpen', a genius device thatscans as you write and pops it onto your PC for you!

Grannies beware - our Weekend Wake-Up Call was one of the ALL-TIME dance classics, Prodigy- Firestarter, which caused Sarah to have a mini-rave on her bed, and 7 year old Mikey to declare "I like this". Brilliant.

Your Weekend Wind-Up involved yours truly auditioning, over the phone of course, for Brighton Festival Chorus, using the help of Paul Potts and Cliff Richard. I failed, miserably. Thanks to Christine at the BFC, and make sure you go to the Annual Christmas Concert tomorrow, 4pm @ Brighton Dome Concert Hall.

And finally, in news that will probably amuse and disturb in equal measures, everyone's favourite Vegan Moby, is teaming up with Alice Cooper and Iggy Pop in new Vampires vs music business film "Suck". Best quote in WEEKS -

Moby: "I only have 45 words but they are 45 important words. Then I get eaten."

Paris Hilton, take note.

I'm covering on Moody's show Monday through to Christmas Eve, 12-3pm, so expect xmas giveaway treats and maybe a Santa-themed wind-up!

Good morning - well, dreadful morning weather-wise. So bad in fact that the gents toilet at Juice took a blow - gale force winds blew in through the window (permanantly jarred open by pigeon poo) and scattered white paper towels everywhere. In my dazed state this morning, I confused them for white feathers, reminding me of Prince's video for "When Doves Cry". Luckily, Prince wasnt naked at the end of the trail.

Sandra sent a lovely email about her husband's last anniversary gift to her - a trail of roses in a mystery hotel room leading to the hubby, sprawled in the bath. Happy Anniversary Sandra! I'm going to try the same as a belated present for Guy's Birthday.

Corona- Rhythm of the Night was your Weekend Wake-up Call, although it was dampened by the discovery that the girl in Corona's videos is a lip syncer. If only they'd done the same for Michelle McManus, she could have been doing what Leona is now.

We looked forward to tonight's X Factor Final, where the big question is Beyonce- will she or won't she turn up? She's understandably still a little narked that Simon Cowell once said she couldn't sing, she didn't have a great body, and she's not sexy! Coming from the man who clearly had a fling with Paula Abdul (allegedly...)

And a big thanks to Danny and Katie @ Revamp and Masquerade fancy dress shops, who took it very well when yours truly called them up asking for ridiculous costumes beginning with B....

Listen again here!:
Fancy Dress Wind Up

Well hello, it's been a while, 2 weeks infact whilst I minced off to Florida (Guy's words, not mine)

Back this morning to lots of tv gossip, including last night's I'm a Celeb result with Joe Swash crowned new King of the Jungle - apparently he was prepared for the bushtucker trials by his gran who goaded him into eating fish eyes. Lovely women. We're all still a little bit upset that David didn't get to the final...

In X Factor, I'm still shocked at the rumours that Diana and Eoggyuehana (pronounced 'Owen') are dating - surely he's 12? Alexandra to win is the overwhelming verdict at Juice Towers, but there's still a fair few lovers the Diana's crab hand.

I complained about shop assistants who are rough with my fragile shopping items at the checkout - chocolate digestives are delicate things that should be treated with love. Otherwise they crumble in your hand and the "dunkability" factor seriously lowers.

Finally, a big thank you to everyone at Chestnut Tree House for throwing on a great event at last night's Snowman Spectacular Ball - Guy and myself took full advantage of the champagne reception with the old "down your drink when you see the waitor approaching" technique, and then I ate poorly Cheryl's duck.

It was on her plate, not in her pond.

RIP Donald. And Hewie. and Dewie...

Just when you thought X Factor had taken over your life, its only the blimmin start of "I'm (almost) a Celebrity, and I'm pretending I'm here just for the 'experience'!"

News just out that a stream of dangerous ticks have invaded the area, so now the shows "official" doctor has given the all-clear for celebrities to inspect (i.e. fondle) each other to remove the pesky critters.

Despite most hoping this will mean the WAGS of the jungle rubbing each other down, Dave on the text thinks show producers will treat us with image of Kilroy de-ticking Esther Ransen - can't wait!

X Factor tonight, and I'm probably not the only one hoping the ridiculous run of shock eliminations doesn't continue - its amazing how a show can make you feel so mcuh hatred towards a perfectly innocent gentleman! Leona on the show tonight performing her beautiful cover of Snow Patrol's "Run" - a must watch I think.

And in other X Factor news, former runner-up and Eurovision flop Andy Abraham ("the bin man" to you and me) has gone from strength to strength in his career - one mintue performing to the praise of Simon Cowell, the next to a 20% full Worthing Assembly Hall. Daniel aka Rickey Gervais, I'll see you in Bognor this time next year sir!

With a gorgeous tan courtesy of The Lanes Health & Beauty (who covered up my amateur Dale Winton jobby) I'm off to Florida on Monday for 2 weeks - but I'll be leaving the show in the capable, if somewhat greedy, hands of Guy & Andrea.

Have a lovely end-of-November!
Jonesy x

Well it turns out that Michael Jackson himself is actually making a comeback - and a proper one at that. £50m world tour, including the UK, and a new album which he's been beavering away on with John Legend, Neyo and 50 Cent (please don't rap on his records).

In honour of this we played 'Thriller' - which still sounds just as good today - which ties in nicely with Halloween.

Yes I know it's a bit early, but preparation is key - why not trick your friends and family with Halloween sweets - innocent sweets stuffed with deadly (albeit dead) scorpions which are APPARENTLY harmless - anyone want to test that theory? Evidence in picture format below.

Shelley on the email can relate to such evil trickery - substituting the coin in the classic "find the coin in the cake" game for olives and gherkins.

Jess on the other hand can't be bothered with all that malarkey - she's off with her mates on Halloween night dressed as Zombie Spice Girls. Posh Spice as a zombie has CLASSIC written all over it. Imagine how David feels waking up to her.

X-Factor tonight, and amidst pensioner fallouts between Danni and Simon, expect a lovely charity single performed in unison by the contestants.

Expect Danny's smile to blind even Simon, and Austen to sit crying in the corner.

Can't wait!

Morning you - and another glorious Saturday morning, we've been blessed with good weekends recently!

Turns out its a bad week for celebrity pairings - Peter and Jordan may well be having more marriage difficulties to add to the woes of Madge and Guy - who is reportedly getting a 60 million quid divorce payout off her, and 20 million in cash... Imagine the size of the briefcase (drools).

Dan on the email loves Madge but thinks she'd be far too demanding for wifedom- "More gym equipment! More Leotards! More kids!". His words, not mine. Honest.

Americans continue to astound us all now that US Doctors have found the perfect song, at 103bpm, to restart someones heart and bring them back to life - "Stayin' Alive", by the Beegees. I kid you not. If I was dying, I think hearing those high pitched squeels would see me off for good.

Another story I've just noticed but didn't get a chance to cover. Look out girls- drinking too much coffee can shrink your boobs. Somewhere in the countryside, Keira Knightley just fired her dietician.

Back same time next week, look out for some rather fun new features to appear on the show in the coming weeks...